You know you are a bad driver when..

Waking up to the endless beeping of my alarm at 6am in the morning, I rubbed my eyes and said to myself, "gotta go to work". I went downstairs and gobbled down a couple of pieces of bread, and prepared myself coffee for the 1 and a half hour trip to the middle of nowhere. I'm not much of a coffee person, but I'm not much of a morning person either. So I had two choices, whether I arrive to work having coffee breath, or falling asleep whilst driving and not arrive to work at all. Luckily I was smart enough to choose the first. Instant coffee powder, smells weird. 2 teaspoons. Boiling water, half a cup. Sugar, 3 teaspoons. Now add milk. I looked around the fridge for milk and without hesitation poured the whole carton to my portable cup. The 15-day old milk that has turned mushy and rotten slowly filled the cup and before I realized, my coffee was tainted with rotten milk. "that's disgusting". I made myself a new batch and left to work. As I took my first sip, I forgot to completely open the lid and everything spilled on me. I was covered with warm coffee that was mixed with way too much sugar and I noticed a new problem. I'm almost out of fuel. After going to the nearest petrol station I soon remembered something. I am partially lactose intolerant - that my stomach would feel like it would implode any second if I drink dairy too early in the morning. Moving 20km/hr in a freeway due to the heavy morning traffic, clothes sticky and reeked of coffee, and trying to fight against the agonizing pain and anger of my own stupidity, I asked myself the same question over and over again. "why am I doing this?"

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After the 'axima' incident, I had tried to drive a lot more carefully. But lately my recklessness starts to take over my way of driving once again. During a rainy and lightning-y night last Thursday I was on a kebabs run with a couple of friends and obviously, the weather could not be worse for driving. The night started off with a calm and surprisingly dry weather, but as we move closer into the thundering clouds of Mitcham, rain suddenly started pouring as heavy as the ones you'd find in the desert. I had to drive my car to the kebabs trailer to pick up my friends who refused to move out of the shelter into he rain and towards the cars where we were planning to eat our kebabs. They told me that they would wait for their food to be ready and walk to the carpark instead. So I reversed back to park my car. My brain told me to look back and see where I was reversing to, but my 'I'm the best driver around' attitude insisted that I reverse as fast as possible to get the parking spot before someone else takes it. Before I realized what was happening, I heard a bump. Then a car horn. One thing raced through my mind, "not again".

I jumped out of my car, stared at the car that I reversed into, and walked over to the driver. He told me to move into the shelter. As he turned around to the nearest parking spot, I had a glimpse at my car. I saw not just a tiny scratch, but half of my back bumper was out of its place, and a huge dent that I was sure was not there before appeared in front of my eyes. Compared to this, the missing M just looked like a tiny scratch that was hardly noticeable. After exchanging information and confirming insurance details, the wog that I crashed into left off with a frown in his face, the only thing I said to him was, "enjoy your kebabs".

I sat down, drenched from the rain. The night was ruined, but my friends tried to cheer me up. "The second they went out of the car, we were ready to jump these cunts". Good to know that my friends have my back. haha.

Still waiting for the quote of repairing the bloke's car, I went ahead to a dentist appointment yesterday. I was running late and once again, I was out of petrol. 'Trying to find a petrol station wouldn't be too hard', I thought, but as the fuel meter slowly moves closer to the deadly 'E' letter, I was becoming desperate to find one. I was paying too much attention to the side of the road looking for a sign of a station until I finally found one. I was caught behind a slow driver in front of me and I tried to change lanes to overtake him. Once again, my idiotic ego insisted that I only do a quick headcheck. I turned and the inevitable happened. I heard a sound so familiar that I was no longer surprised. The sound of two metals smashing against each other, similar to one that I heard less than a week ago in the rainy tragedy. I looked over, saw a car trying to pull me over to the side of the road, and to be honest, I gave up caring.

An old lady walked out of the car, screaming, "ARE YOU BLIND?!", I thought, "yes I am blind. I can't drive. now just let me drive off to catch my dentist's appointment", but I didn't say anything. I told her the same thing I told the other bloke from 4 days before, "give me a quote to fix your car and I'll pay for it. But I reckon a bit of car polish would fix a minor scratch like that". The lady was shaking, she was struggling to write her details on the paper. I couldn't even feel my heart rate increasing. I didn't give a f**k anymore. I just want to get to the dentist.

So now I am waiting for two bills that I have to pay for. I am expecting something around $500 in total, and if I am lucky, only 2 weeks worth of pay would be lost. I am trying to work 7 days a week to pay for the repairs, and also to regain the amount gone from shopping throughout the year.

Since about 2 weeks ago I thought I was a decent driver, but I was dead wrong. During this week I realized one thing: you know you are a bad driver when you no longer give a sh*t after having a car accident.