My morning today was quite unusual. Well except for the fact that I didn't turn up to my lecture again and ended up having to catch up online....
My mum woke me up at 6.45 because she thought it was 8 already. Seriously who does that? What a family of strugglers. So I went back to sleep til 7.45, and I got ready for uni.
My dad is leaving to Indonesia this morning for business, so after a couple of hugs and goodbyes I left the home later than usual.
I arrived to my train station at 8.50 and my lecture was at 9.00, yeah definately won't make it this time so I was just planning to set up my laptop to the uni's wireless internet, which I did.
So at the platform everything was pretty normal, me listening to my ipod while checking out a chick on the other side of the platform, when someone I least expected came up to me and said hi, my brother. Because I left a bit later than usual, my brother caught up to me and we ended up waiting for the same train. Do you know that half-asleep feeling when you're just waiting for your brain to turn on, and don't really want to talk to anyone? yeah we were both in that state. So we said hi, and minded our own business.
Still waiting for the train to come, another person came up to me. This time it was the most random encounter I've ever had on a train platform, it was the dad of my friend, let's call him X. Still in the state of half-asleep, this was how the conversation went. (things in brackets like this represent what I was saying in my mind):
Me: oh hey! (ok so far so good, now say something nice)
me: Haven't seen you in a while! (NO F**KING S**T YOU LOSER why would you see this person often?! quick, change the topic!)
X's Dad: Yeah it's been a while.
me : (ok ok, lets fix this up.. hmm what to talk about... oh yeah his son!) So how's uhm..
(HOLY CRAP! I dont remember who's dad I am talking to! UHMMMM is it F or L?! AAAGHH IM COMPLETELY BLANKING! JUST SAY SOMETHING!)
me: uhhmmmm... yeah. (WHAT! DONT JUST SAY 'YEAH' YOU RETARD)
So the guy I am talking to, the dad of so-called X, stared at me for about 5 seconds, waiting for me to finish my sentence, and finally realized I have no idea what I was talking about.. so he just said "yeah good"
X's dad: "yeah F's coming to visit your uni soon" (OH MY GOD I KNEW IT WAS F'S DAD! DAMN IT!)
Thoughts were racing in my brain as the train arrived in the platform and slowing down, "what to say now? do i keep talking or just face away and walk in the train?" I looked at him and realized that he was entering from a different door. "THANK GOD" I thought.
me: "ok i'll see you around" and I went into the train with my brother.
my brother : "who was that?"
me : "F's dad"
my brother then gave a face not really expressing shock, more like, a 'what the f**k' look. I gave him one of those awkward turtle gestures to show how awkward the conversation was.
my brother : what the hell is that?
me : don't you know? awkward turtle!
my brother : ......... you're lamer than I thought you are.
The next 40 minutes in the train was still awkward between my brother and I. We stood next to the door of the carriage opposite of each other, and I tried not to make eye contact. Remember, eye contact means engaging in a conversation. So for 40 minutes I was facing left looking out the window, minding my own business.
My brother left a station before mine, and thus my awkward morning has come to a conclusion. One thing to say about the morning : I am no longer half-asleep, nor will I ever be for the next 24 hours.
so up till 2 days ago, I keep telling myself, "why are you writing this blog, no one's even reading this stuff" but as the day passed, people are starting to tell me, "haha adhi your blog is pretty good! keep writing!" and from then on I never hesitated to write a new post.
What I'm trying to say is, I was very close to stop writing this blog, until the support of my friends motivated me to keep writing. I would really like to thank those who've been reading my blog and those who've been talking about it, because I made this blog for the readers, and without them this is just a mere website talking about the failed attempts of a struggler at being... normal.
Well that's about it for now, I really should listen to the lecture I am in right now.
CATCH YOU SOON!