to f**k or not to f**k?

did the title grab your attention? It's a little misleading, just like most commercials or news headlines to make you read what the author's trying to say.

You may have noticed how many times the word f**k has been used in this blog. I used the word most of the time in quotes, and although it's a bit vulgar, it's still funnier than if the word is not there.

Those who don't know me personally would think that I am a person who don't swear a lot right? hahahaha funny. No I am quite the two (or maybe even multi) face. I act differently around different people, and in different situations. For example I totally grease my family off and after a couple of years of doing it, it became a habit. So  now if you see me talking to my parents, you'll be saying 'that's not Adhi'. But it actually is, it's just not the Adhi that you usually hang out with.

Same with this blog, my friend B described it, and I am quoting " brings out a different Adhi, a more deep Adhi. deeper than the valleys of Indonesia itself". Clearly he was kidding but when I read over my posts (yeah I did it again) I realized that the way I talk is different to how I normally speak in person. Why? I don't know. Is this me being just who I am? or is it just me trying to become a different person, a person who does not swear, a person who does not pull off lame and awkward jokes, or a person who is not like the idiot I have been describing throughout this post, the so-called struggler? No one knows.

Well anyways that was a little sesh of DNM and now let's go back to the main topic.

Believe it or not, I used to hate swearing. Yeah say all what you want, but about 4 years ago I used the words, 'freak or fudge' for the you-know-what word or 'sugar' for the other you-know-what word. Then slowly I became a little bit more comfortable to swearing, saying it casually when I hit my pinky toe against the table corner or when I got an F for a test, or even when a teacher told me to do my button up, followed by the word, "you".

But then early this year, I attended a mystical, fun and crazy event called Science Camp, and from then on, I changed. A few weeks after the alcohol and party games-fuelled weekend, I started to act differently, more party-like, and of course more vulgar. The word I used to despise using were spewed out of my mouth every two words and people were starting to wonder, where did the Old Adhi went off to. Here is a short conversation between my two friends ET and JH and I:

ET : you know what, you've been swearing a lot lately
me : f**k yeah, it f**king makes me sound more f**king mature
ET: no it doesn't, just stop.
JH : man I still remember when we first met, you were so nice and innocent
me : STFU YOU SLOB
JH & ET : we miss the old Adhi

and obviously since then I've grown a little less vulgar, but the tendency of swearing still hasn't gone away. Lately I've been thinking of whether to put swear words or not into my blog, sure it sounds rough and immature, but it sorta does put across put the emotions that I am trying to depict in certain situations. I probably won't swear in my actual posts, but like what I've done before, I might slip in a few during conversations of quotations. Besides, why should an 18-year old act so mature anyway?

So there you go, a little brief explanation as to how the 'nice and innocent' Adhi became the person who wrote this post, with a little touch of deep personal opinions to add a little 'zing' to its flavour.

I was planning to make this post a bit funnier, but I'm not feeling it today... maybe a funny anecdote about uni tomorrow may compliment this boring and awkward post. Now to install iTunes on my new laptop and then watch the NEW EPISODE OF HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER!

SEE YOU SOON!